Learning to Grieve (part 2)

There is a line we must walk in grief. One we must master lest we fall into great despair. Grief is the reality of death in our world. Grief is the reality of our “not yet” nature. All things are not reconciled. Not yet. Though inwardly we really are being renewed...

Outwardly we are wasting away.

And this is how it goes. We all carry death within us. Some of us simply avoid that truth.  We keep ourselves busy and try to distract ourselves from this “depressing” thought. Any mention or thought of death is seen as an insult to our ability to survive.

Yet, they too will experience the profound power of grief, whether they want to or not. And those who avoid it the longest, experience it the hardest. Eventually they can run no further. And by then, it is such a foreign concept they can hardly bear it.

Now we are not masochists. We do not invite death early. We simply recognize she is here. And we certainly do not underestimate her abilities. We respect the power. But we recognize death is ultimately defeated, though far from removed from our world.

That does mean death is a defeated enemy. Sounds strange. For clearly death has not been eliminated from our midst. She is still very much a part of our existence. But look again, her sting is gone. The stinger has literally been removed.

What once brought only despair can now bring hope.

Think of it.  Before death could offer no condolence, no comfort in grief. There was only the hovering thought of endless non-existence, a grim continuation into ultimate nothing-ness. Eternal anti-life. That could bring only great despair (despite those who misunderstand nothingness as a form of rest. It is not!).

Death is only directly dealt with by the Christian God, who according to the teachings Himself dies, so as to kill death itself. It is a profounly disturbing thought; but one filled, strangely, with life. God dies, so death can no longer sting us forever.

The spell is broken.

Death’s power is taken. It can threaten non-existence no longer. But clearly death is still very much a part of our world. Yet it’s value has changed, forever. Instead of an endless black hole, death becomes a portal to more life, to greater existence, to a new plane.

And yet, we still need to grieve the deaths we face. Grieving becomes like a yield sign.  It is not stopping, but it is also not going. It is an in-between sort of processing center. Though we still function, we are not given the full green light to be productive.

A yield can easily turn into a full stop. For many it does. Grief can become a destination. Think of someone grieving the death or loss of a child. The utter heartbreak is so terrible that the grief process seems never-ending, that it will always be part of life.

Grief here becomes a permanant mode. Part of life has been amputated. There will always be a missing part. Like someone who has lost a limb, there will be daily reminders of what was lost. It is impossible not to remember that.

While that process is understandably excruciating, that person must keep moving. There is no other choice. The yield may take years for them. But a green light is coming. Hold on. Believe that life is ultimately redeemed. There is meaning in loss.

Hold on.